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Evidently Unaware

Title: Evidently Unaware
Fandom: Criminal Minds
Pairing: Hotch/Reid
Rating: FRAO
Disclaimer: So totally not mine.
Summary: “So,” Reid says, eyeing Hotch warily, “I’m going to leave you here to freak out as you slowly realize that we’ve been dating for a while and you just didn’t know it.” Featuring oblivious!Hotch and aggressive!Reid.

A/N: Um... Hotch is a lot more smiley here than he is in canon. And... this is basically crack!fic. But long-ish.

Hotch has been alone for a long time. Before he and Haley split things were tenuous at best, and then he'd had a drunken one-night stand a few days after he signed the divorce papers, but that woman had come on to him and it hadn’t gone well at all. In the morning he’d regretted it and since then he’s thrown himself into his job, focusing all of his time and energy onto something that’s reliable. It's been long enough, though, that he's decided it’s time to move on.


Jessie introduces him to Karen, a single mother with a son about Jack’s age, and she’s nice and pretty and she tries to flirt with Hotch at every available opportunity. Hotch makes half-hearted attempts to flirt back, and while it’s always a little awkward and stilted, Karen doesn’t seem to mind.


Reid gets dragged away by JJ and Emily on Henry related business one afternoon, which is how Hotch ends up sitting in a deli having lunch with just Morgan and Rossi. Halfway through the meal he casually brings up Karen and the fact that he might ask her out.

“I think it might be good for me to start dating again,” Hotch says.

Morgan almost chokes on the potato chip he’s chewing, spluttering for a moment before he turns to share a look with Rossi. When Rossi glances back over at Hotch he raises one eyebrow and says, “Dating… again,” flatly.

Hotch shrugs and smiles self-depricatingly. “It’s been a long time,” he says. “I’m out of practice. I can barely flirt without tripping over my words anymore.” Morgan and Rossi stare at him with identical disbelieving looks, and Hotch gets the distinct feeling that he’s missing something.

“So you’re going to ask her out,” Rossi says eventually.

“I’m thinking about it, yeah,” Hotch replies.

They eat in silence for a few minutes before Morgan looks at him consideringly and asks, “You gonna tell Reid?”

Hotch just shrugs non-commitally and takes a bite of his sandwich. There’s no reason not to tell Reid, but there’s no reason for him to go out of his way to bring it up, either. “Hadn’t thought about it,” he says eventually.

Morgan frowns slightly before lifting his glass to his mouth and taking a long drink. After a moment Rossi clears his throat and Hotch turns his attention away from Morgan. “Well, you’ll have to keep us updated,” Rossi says, voice laced with amusement.

Hotch sends him a confused look but nods anyway.

When they get back to the office after lunch he makes his way through the bullpen to lean against the side of Reid’s desk. When Reid looks up Hotch smiles and tosses him the small cellophane wrapped brownie he brought back from the deli.

Reid fumbles to catch it, but when he realizes what it is his eyes light up and he grins. “Double chocolate chunk,” he says reverently. “Hotch, you truly are my hero.”

Hotch laughs at the sight of Reid struggling to rip open the package. “I guess that title goes for pretty cheap these days.”

Reid’s grin widens. “That’s just the low introductory rate. It’ll cost you more to keep it,” he says, wiggling his eyebrows.

“Trying to manipulate me for your own personal gain? How Machiavellian of you,” Hotch says dryly.

“Well, I am an evil genius,” Reid replies, but his remark is somewhat hampered by the fact that he’s still struggling to open the brownie.

Morgan reaches over from his own desk and plucks it out of Reid’s hand, tearing the packaging easily and then handing it back. “There you go, genius,” Morgan laughs.

“Aha!” Reid crows, holding the brownie up in triumph. “I no longer need do my own work, for I shall just pass it off onto my minions.”

“Excuse me?” Morgan asks, both eyebrows raised.

“Um, what I meant to say was thank you, Morgan,” Reid hurriedly corrects. “Also, you are definitely not my minion.”

Morgan rolls his eyes and turns to smirk at Hotch. “Look at what you’ve done, man.”

Reid pouts up at him and Hotch smiles. “He’ll be fine.”

Morgan makes a disbelieving noise when Hotch just turns and walks away.


They get called out on a case before Hotch has the chance to see Karen again, and he forgets all about it while they chase a serial arsonist through several small towns in Oregon. Once the unsub is caught and their job is done, they board the jet to head home. The plane rides back are always more relaxed and spread out, and he sits in his usual place near the front, between Reid and the window.

Hotch pulls out a book of New York Times crossword puzzles a few minutes into the flight and begins filling one in, and after a few minutes Reid starts trying to peer over his shoulder.

When Reid eventually leans in and whispers “31D is Tenzin Gyatso,” Hotch turns his head to glare at him.

“Did I ask for your help?” Hotch asks, but he has to fight to keep a straight face at how ridiculously cocky Reid looks.

“Not yet,” Reid says, “but undoubtedly at some point you would have needed me.” Hotch rolls his eyes and Reid grins. “I’m just pitching in a little early.”

“Well keep it to yourself,” Hotch says, smiling slightly. Reid laughs and turns back to his own book for approximately two minutes before he’s trying to look over Hotch’s shoulder again. Hotch elbows him in the ribs in an effort to get him to move away, but that just causes him to lean in closer and laugh. Eventually Hotch sighs and relents, muttering ‘fine’ under his breath as he repositions himself so they can both see.

“But no giving answers unless I ask for help,” Hotch warns.

“I make no promises,” Reid says. When he glances over, Reid is smiling smugly and Hotch rolls his eyes again but can’t help smiling back.


The next time Hotch goes to pick up Jack, Karen is there and Hotch asks if she’d like to schedule a playdate for her son and Jack sometime that weekend. Karen smiles and bats her eyelashes and says she thinks that it’s a great idea. They set a time and exchange phone numbers and Karen reaches out to touch his forearm while she tells him that Jessie explained how unpredictable his job can be, and that she completely understands if they have to reschedule. Hotch stiffens slightly at the words, but forces himself to maintain a smile.


The week is relatively slow, and most of Hotch’s time is dedicated to filling out evaluations and signing off on various requisitions. After a few days he tires of the endless paperwork that is bureaucracy and joins the others in rehashing a recent cold case.

They have the photos and maps from the file spread out on the table in the conference room, and they’ve been staring at them for hours, going over their original profile of the unsub and trying to figure out what changed enough to make the unsub stop.

Hotch is leaning against the wall silently, trying to see from a different perspective and listening as Prentiss and Morgan bounce ideas off each other. Prentiss comes with an interesting theory about liberation of sexual expression, but it’s Reid who eventually notices something on one of the maps.

Hotch moves to the side of the chair Reid is sitting in and leans forward, one hand curling loosely around Reid’s shoulder, his fingers resting against the base of Reid’s neck as he listens to an animated explanation of a discrepancy in the pattern they’d originally noticed.

“And here I thought the great Spencer Reid never made mistakes in his geographical profiles,” Hotch teases. When Reid turns his head to shoot Hotch a mock-glare Hotch smiles and slides his hand over to squeeze Reid’s shoulder before he straightens up.


The play-date goes well enough; Hotch and Karen make small talk while they keep an eye on the intrepid boys hurling themselves around the jungle gym. Hotch lets Karen take over the conversation and laughs at all the right places, and when she asks about his work he talks about the people rather than the job. They make plans to go for dinner that weekend.


Friday night they get called out to Nebraska, and Hotch sends Karen a text from the plane. They work straight through until Saturday evening, and then he and Reid end up eating room service hamburgers and watching reruns of Gilligan’s Island until he drifts off and Reid leaves. The next morning in the police station Reid is singing, “A three hour tour,” under his breath, and Hotch grins.


He and Reid have dinner together every Wednesday.

It’s something that started somewhat intermittently just after Gideon left, when they both were searching for stability and found that they enjoyed each other’s company in the mean time. After he and Haley divorced it became a more regular occurrence, eventually settling into a once a week routine.

It used to be dinner out, but with Jack around all the time now it’s more often than not dinner at Hotch’s house. Reid always insists on helping cook, and he’s surprisingly good in the kitchen, so Hotch doesn’t fight when Reid takes out the ingredients for an alfredo sauce and demands space so he can "cook properly."

They’ve done this enough times that Hotch can move around Reid easily while he pulls out various utensils, and he doesn’t even falter when Reid begins verbally threatening an onion (“Fear my wrath, lowly root vegetable”). They work in a silence punctuated by Reid’s random comments, and Hotch finds himself smiling the whole time.

The next time that he goes to move behind Reid and reach the fridge, Reid tilts his head back and says, “Hold on.” Hotch stops behind him, unsure until he sees Reid lift a spoon from the pan. “Taste,” Reid demands.

Hotch smiles as he moves closer, placing a hand on Reid’s hip and leaning forward to taste the sauce. “Delicious,” he says, wiggling his eyebrows before he moves away to finish the salad.

He’s completely engrossed in the slicing of a cucumber when he hears Reid’s voice, too quiet for him to make out the words. He looks over his shoulder and sees Reid smiling down at Jack, speaking softly and ruffling Jack’s hair. Hotch grins when Jack moves forward and wraps his arms around Reid’s leg tightly, and Reid just smiles more widely.

After a moment Reid looks up at Hotch, and Hotch’s chest constricts with some indefinable emotion for a moment, until he looks away.


He and Karen go to dinner that Saturday, and it’s a nice restaurant and Karen looks beautiful and Hotch struggles through small-talk the whole time. Karen wants to know about his work, and it’s always a difficult subject to navigate, trying to avoid mentioning the dismembered corpses and assaulted women and serial killers that stalk you and kill your wife. He finally manages to guide the conversation onto her work as an interior designer, and she happily rambles for the majority of the meal. He drives her home and there’s an awkward, chaste kiss goodnight, but she still smiles at him and tells him what a good time she had.


Sometimes Hotch and Reid offer to take Henry for the day, and they head to the park so that Jack can run around and start to tire himself out before they even reach the playground. Hotch has been taking a lot of heat from Strauss lately, and he’s exhausted even though they haven’t had that many active cases recently.

When they reach the playground Reid waves Hotch away. “I’ve had three cups of coffee this morning,” Reid says, “I can keep up with them.”

Hotch smiles gratefully and moves to sit on a bench just outside the playground. Reid’s first game appears to be some version of ‘I spy’ that involves Jack racing around the playground and pointing to things, his second a similar game that Hotch thinks might involve spelling. Either way Reid manages to keep Jack moving for half an hour, and by the time he’s lifting Henry into the baby swing Jack is tired enough to give Henry his full attention.

Hotch is watching Reid teaching Jack how to push his ‘cousin Henry’ gently when he notices someone sitting down next to him. When he glances over he finds Karen smiling at him, and his eyes widen.

“Imagine meeting you here,” Karen says, in what is possibly a flirty tone.

Hotch smiles. “Imagine that,” he replies.

Karen glances none-too-subtly over at Reid and Jack. “So, is that Jack’s uncle?”

Hotch licks his lower lip and tips his head slightly before he says, “That’s Reid and his Godson, Henry.”

“Reid. He works with you, right?” Karen asks. Hotch nods and watches as Karen’s son runs up to Jack and Reid. Jack smiles happily and babbles up at Reid, and Reid very solemnly turns to shake Karen’s son’s hand. There’s a minute where the boys are giggling and talking animatedly, and Reid nods along, still pushing Henry’s swing gently. Finally Reid says something and both boys begin running around, and it looks like they’re back to playing whatever game Reid came up with.

Reid turns to shoot Hotch an over-exaggeratedly exasperated look, but he’s smiling slightly and Hotch laughs. “Well, he’s good with kids,” Karen says, and Hotch smiles at her.

“Yeah,” Hotch agrees, “he is.”

“So I’m actually on my way to meet my sister for lunch,” Karen says after a moment, “but would you like to have dinner later?”

“Oh,” Hotch responds, surprised. “Yeah, sure.”

Karen smiles at him and says, “Great. I’ll make the reservations. Pick me up at eight?”

Hotch nods and awkwardly returns the smile, watching silently as she collects her son and heads off toward the carpark. When he turns his attention back to the playground he sees Jack leaning against Reid’s leg and ‘helping’ push Henry.


Dinner with Karen goes much the same way as it did the last time, and when he walks her to her door Karen invites him in for a cup of coffee. Hotch smiles and politely declines, citing his need to pick Jack up from Jessie’s before it gets too late. There’s another semi-awkward kiss, longer and deeper than the last one, and when Hotch pulls back Karen is smiling widely. He tells her that he’ll call her, and he does, but any plans they might have made are canceled when four children go missing in Louisiana that week.


The entire team makes plans to go out to the bar one night, and Karen has suggested at one point that they should plan a sleepover for the boys, so Hotch decides to take her up on the offer. When she opens the door she’s fully made up and dressed in a way that seems a little inappropriate for a night of herding two little boys around, and when Hotch says thank you and kisses her cheek before walking away she looks incredibly confused.

He’s the last one to get to the bar, almost two hours late, but as soon as he walks in he can see the team sequestered in the far corner. He stops at the bar to order two pitchers before he makes his way through the crowd to set them down in front of Garcia and JJ with a flourish.

“Hotch!” Garcia squeals drunkenly, her arm jerking around Kevin’s neck as she flails, “You’re here! And you brought drinks!”

Hotch smiles bemusedly. “Hi guys,” he says. There’s a drunken chorus of responses that makes him laugh. The group has taken over several tables and a booth, and he scans for a free space before deciding to slide into the booth next to Reid. Prentiss pours him a beer and slides it over to him with a smirk. He smiles and nods his head in thanks before taking a drink.

Prentiss and Rossi and Reid pick up the conversation they were having before he arrived- something about Rossi having crime scene groupies- and he lets himself relax and observe his team as he drinks. He watches them for a while with a faint smile- they all look so happy right now, and Hotch likes to keep memories like these stored away so he can remember them when it feels like they’ve all given up.

He's still smiling to himself as he refills his drink, and when he leans back he stretches his arm along the back of the booth behind him without thinking about it. He turns his attention to the group in front of him and smiles at the way Prentiss is mock-glaring at Rossi, even though he only picks up only the end of her sentence (“—only in profiling for the notoriety, we should have known.”) Hotch always enjoys watching Prentiss and Rossi snark at each other, and he grins at the interaction.

When he feels Reid’s weight leaning into him slightly he turns that grin away from Prentiss and Rossi and over to Reid.

“Hey,” Hotch says quietly, shifting his arm slightly to get Reid’s attention, “how are you?”

Reid tilts his head back against Hotch’s arm and grins. “I am very good,” he says.

“I’ll bet,” Hotch laughs, and he drops his hand until his fingers are resting along the inside of Reid’s upper arm.

“No,” Reid murmurs, and he turns his head to look at Hotch. “You missed the part where I drank.” Reid nods seriously. “A lot.”

Hotch leans closer and smiles at him affectionately. “Well, I’m very sorry I was late,” he says, letting his thumb smooth along the inside of Reid’s arm softly. “I didn’t miss you doing something hilariously embarrassing, did I?”

Reid snorts and shakes his head, but before he can say anything Morgan interrupts. “Hey, where were you Hotch?”

Hotch jerks his head up at the sound of Morgan’s voice. “I had to get Jack ready and drop him off at a sleepover before I could come,” Hotch replies.

Prentiss smiles at him indulgently. “Jessie really is a sweetheart. You’d better buy her an amazing birthday present.”

Hotch smiles. “She is,” he says, “but Jack is actually at Karen’s for the night.”

As soon as he says it, Rossi, Prentiss, and Morgan all go silent and give him the same incredulous look. He’s beginning to feel incredibly uncomfortable when Reid, still pressed against his side, laughs loudly and quickly reaches up to cover his mouth with his hand. The muffled sound still makes its way through and his body is still shaking with it, but everyone else remains silent.

After a minute he sort-of shrugs awkwardly and asks, “What?” Reid is still chuckling as Morgan shakes his head disbelievingly and turns toward Rossi, saying something too quietly for Hotch to hear. Rossi laughs and Prentiss grins, and Hotch feels like he’s missing something.

Reid smiles and presses his knee against Hotch’s before leaning forward to refill their glasses. Hotch looks at him, confused, and Reid laughs again before taking a drink. “Don’t worry about it,” Reid says after a minute.

Hotch nods slowly and picks up his drink, and Reid picks up their conversation as though they hadn’t been interrupted. “No, I haven’t done anything embarrassing,” he says, “but there’s more beer to drink and the night is still young.”


The next time he calls, Karen suggests that they go out that week. Hotch agrees, and when she offers that Wednesday would work for her he politely declines and suggests Thursday instead. He doesn’t think anything of it as he tells her that Wednesday is the night that he has dinner with Reid, but when Karen laughs awkwardly and suggests they just play it by ear instead because his schedule is so unpredictable, he gets the feeling that he’s being brushed off. Honestly, he doesn’t really care, so he just agrees and says he’ll be in touch.


A few weeks go by and everything is normal, at least by the relative standards that the members of the BAU go by, and one day Morgan and Rossi wander into his office and just stand in front of his desk, staring at him.

He looks up from his paperwork and raises an eyebrow. “Can I help you?” He asks dryly.

“So, whatever happened with Karen?” Morgan asks bluntly.

Hotch shrugs non-commitally. “It didn’t work out,” he says. Morgan huffs a laugh and rolls his eyes and Rossi smirks, but neither say anything more. Eventually Hotch gives them an exasperated look and asks, “What?”

Morgan gives him a disbelieving look before he turns and walks out of the office. Rossi tilts his head and looks him over before shaking his head bemusedly and following.


Hotch heads toward the coffee maker, placing a hand on Reid’s lower back as he moves past him. He fills his mug and turns around, watches Reid doctor his coffee with spoonfuls of sugar and can’t suppress the way his lips quirk up in an amused smirk. He moves away from the counter and leans so his mouth is close to Reid's ear as he says, “I’ll never cease to be amazed by the way you ruin a perfectly good cup of coffee like that.”

Reid looks up at him with a small smile of his own and Hotch holds his gaze for a moment before he moves toward the opposite counter to scavenge through a box of pastries for something that will satisfy his appetite. After a moment of unsuccessful searching he hears Reid give an exasperated laugh.

When turns to look back at Reid he’s surprised by the incredulous look Reid is giving him. Hotch tilts his head slightly in confusion and asks, “What?”

Reid smiles and there’s something in his expression that’s a little frustrated and a little amused as he asks, “You seriously haven’t figured it out yet?”

“Figured what out?”

Reid smirks and sets his coffee cup down on the counter beside him before he steps forward and looks Hotch over, assessing him. “Okay,” Reid says after a moment, like he's made a decision, and then he moves forward.

Hotch watches as Reid advances toward him, and he steps back reflexively until he’s trapped in the corner where two of the countertops meet. He makes a vague noise of confusion but before he can say anything Reid is pressed up against him and has one hand curled around the back of his neck and has pressed their mouths together. Hotch freezes for a moment when that registers because suddenly there’s kissing going on. Between him and Reid. On the mouth. In the break room. When Reid’s tongue brushes against his bottom lip, Hotch's mouth opens slightly and lets Reid in because it’s good, and he lets his mind go blank except to think that he wants more. He can’t help letting out a little moan, and he finds his hands moving to the younger man's hips, trying to pull him closer because there’s heat and Reid’s hand in his hair and a feeling something like a head rush and it’s amazing.

And then suddenly Reid is pulling away and Hotch makes a quiet noise of protest and tries to follow him, but Reid is already stepping back and smirking. Hotch blinks stupidly and licks his lower lip, watches as Reid walks calmly back to the other counter and picks up his coffee.

“You, um,” Hotch says, raising one hand to gesture awkwardly between them, “you kissed me.”

Reid turns to look at him, eyebrows raised and obviously amused. “I did,” he agrees.

Hotch stares at him silently, aware that he probably looks completely dazed. After a minute he blinks stupidly again and asks, “Why?”

Reid looks at him like he’s a complete idiot and then rolls his eyes before turning away. Hotch hears him mutter, “Oh for christ’s sake,” as he walks out of the room.

Hotch watches him go, flushed and confused and breathing heavily. After a minute he straightens himself out and grabs his mug and makes his way through the bullpen at a brisk pace, trying very hard to look like he’s on his way to do something important and not like he’s running away to hide.

Once he gets inside his office Hotch sits down and proceeds to quietly freak the fuck out.


Hotch manages to make it through the rest of the day without having to deal with anyone except Rossi, who looks incredibly amused but doesn’t address anything but the work-related issues he comes in to discuss for the rest of the afternoon.

The last time he comes in it’s with a sympathetic smile and he asks if Hotch wants to go for a drink after work. Hotch smiles at him and means it, but begs off citing the fact that he has some things he needs to work out. Rossi glances out at the bullpen and then back at Hotch, trying to repress a smile and failing before muttering, “I’ll bet.”

Hotch stares at him, incredulous and accusatory as he asks, “You knew?”

Rossi laughs- something to which Hotch takes offense on principle- and says, “Everybody knew.”

“I should have been informed,” Hotch says, “so I could handle the situation properly and in accordance with regulations!”

For some reason this makes Rossi laugh even harder. “Aaron,” he says after a minute, “there’s a much bigger picture that you’re missing here.”

Hotch feels like he has lost his understanding of this conversation, or that maybe he’s been lost the whole time. “What do you mean?”

“You really need to work it out for yourself,” Rossi says cryptically.

“You’re an asshole, Dave,” Hotch replies petulantly. “You always have been.”

Rossi just shrugs, still grinning. “I’d say that hurts, but it isn’t the first time I’ve heard it,” he says, and then he slinks out the door.


Hotch lays in bed that night and tries to figure out what he’s going to do. He should confront Reid, he thinks, should pull him aside to have a frank discussion about what happened.

‘Listen, Reid, I’m straight and you’re a good friend,’ he could say, ‘but that’s it.’ And that would be the most obvious answer, should be easy to say and should be completely true. Except that when Reid had backed him into a corner and kissed him it had felt so good, had made his heart pound and his stomach twist in a way that it hadn’t in a long time.

‘Listen, Reid, I’m straight except maybe for you, because having you pressed against me made me want to do very non-heterosexual things,’ he could say, ‘and that’s terrifying.’ That one is a hell of a lot more accurate, and a hell of a lot more scary.

‘Listen, Reid. I don’t know what the fuck is going on, but I really enjoyed having your tongue down my throat earlier and I really wouldn’t mind having it there again soon, like perhaps right now.’ And that one is the truth, but there’s no way he can say that to Reid.


By the time he gets to work he still hasn’t settled on a game plan, so he spends the morning alternately hiding from Reid and staring at him. He successfully avoids having to talk to him, which he counts as a victory, but he also notices how everyone else is smirking knowingly between them, which is enough of a defeat to successfully negate his skillful avoidance of Reid-related conversation.

He retreats to his office just before lunch and is trying to figure out a way to casually avoid Reid for the rest of his working career when he hears Reid clear his throat from the doorway. Hotch is frozen in place, standing awkwardly in front of his desk, and Reid stops just inside the room, smiling slightly as he shuts the door behind him. “Hi,” Reid says, sounding entirely too calm given the fact that Hotch feels like he might throw up.

Hotch tries to respond, but all that comes out is a sound along the lines of ‘mlnrgh.’

Reid’s smile grows and turns somewhat indulgent as he tips his head and looks Hotch over. “Are you okay?” He asks, completely relaxed and maybe a little amused.

“Yes,” Hotch says reflexively, but the way he chokes out the answer betrays him and he changes it quickly to “no.”

Reid’s smile grows and Hotch feels lost and inexplicably defensive as he scowls at him. “Hotch,” Reid says after a moment, “Aaron.” Hotch stands perfectly still as Reid takes a few steps toward him. “I kissed you,” Reid says, and Hotch can’t help the low noise that escapes his throat, but Reid just smiles and continues moving forward. “And I’m going to do it again,” Reid says, “so if you want to stop me, now is the time to do it.”

Hotch doesn’t say anything and Reid moves in and slides one hand around his waist, brings the other up to cup his jaw and then waits. Hotch stares at him, still confused, but nuzzles his face against Reid’s palm and exhales. That’s all it takes before Reid is smiling and closing the distance, pressing their lips together and Hotch immediately opens his mouth beneath Reid’s. He feels the other man’s fingers slide along his back, dipping just inside his waistband and smoothing small circles along his spine.

Hotch finds himself pressing forward and wrapping his arms around Reid’s shoulders, twining the fingers of one hand in Reid’s hair. When Reid rocks forward against him Hotch pulls his mouth away in a gasp, because he realizes that Reid’s erection is pressed against his own, and he doesn’t know when he got hard.

“Reid,” he pants, still close enough to be sharing air, “Spencer, what are we doing?”

Reid dips his head until he’s pressing open-mouthed kisses against the line of Hotch’s throat. He laughs against Hotch’s skin, nips lightly before he pulls away. “How do you not get this?” He asks, fingers still stroking circles on Hotch’s spine. “You and me. All the time we spend together, all the flirting.” Reid trails his mouth up to press a wet kiss just below Hotch’s ear.

Hotch moans and tilts his head to give Reid access, doesn’t bother to form a response as Reid kisses a line across his jaw before catching his mouth again, and Hotch finds himself kissing Reid fiercely, a slick slide of his tongue against Reid’s and the clash of their teeth together. It’s good, it’s intense, and when Reid pulls away he licks his lips self-consciously. Hotch’s heart is hammering in his chest and he feels more nervous than he has in a long time, and Reid watches him for a moment before he breathes out sharply. “If you don’t want this, then tell me right now. Tell me, and we can forget this ever happened.”

Hotch breathes out heavily and swallows hard, because he isn’t entirely sure what he wants, but he knows he doesn’t want Reid to walk away. He tries to find the right words, but in the end he just loops his fingers through Reid’s belt-loops and pulls him forward into a bruising kiss. Reid takes the opportunity to press against him fully, rocking forward as he slides one hand down to cup Hotch’s ass and press himself fully against Hotch. After a moment he pulls away and slides one hand around until it’s resting on the buckle of Hotch’s belt.

“You sure?” Reid asks, and Hotch nods, mouth open as he tries to maintain even breathing. Reid smiles and slides his hand down so that he’s palming Hotch’s cock through layers of fabric, and he leans back to press a kiss against the side of Hotch’s neck before he deftly unbuckles the belt between his fingers and slides to his knees.

Hotch is already hard when Reid pulls his pants and boxers down and out of the way, and he closes his eyes and leans back and grips the edge of the desk with one hand as the hot, wet heat of Reid’s mouth closes around him. He has to remind himself to breathe, has to force himself not to thrust forward into that tight space where Reid’s tongue is moving along the underside of his dick in exactly the right places.

“Oh, fuck,” he whispers, tightening his hand in Reid’s hair. Reid looks up at him through obscenely long eyelashes and wraps his fingers around the base of Hotch’s cock and Hotch groans and his hips twitch forward slightly because Reid is making eye contact with him and is humming slightly.

He can’t look away, can’t move his eyes away from Reid’s, away from Reid’s hand moving in time with that mouth, and it’s so amazingly good and it stretches on for minutes, but when Reid moves his free hand down to rub over his own hard cock through the fabric of his pants as he swallows Hotch’s length down it’s enough to make Hotch jerk forward once, twice before he comes. Reid doesn’t move away, swallows again even as he’s still rubbing himself through his trousers, and when Hotch half-moans, “Spencer,” Reid pulls away and ducks his head, groaning loudly as he comes.

Hotch watches as Reid shudders, waits until Reid glances back up before urging him up and pulling him into a messy, thorough kiss. He winds one hand around Reid’s waist and rests the other against the back of his neck. When they break the kiss he murmurs, “I still don’t…” against Reid’s lips.

Reid laughs. “You and I,” Reid says, pressing a kiss to the corner of Hotch’s mouth, “have been dating for almost a year.” Hotch feels like he’s been blindsided, and it must show, because Reid laughs again. “Think about it, Hotch.”

He stiffens and Reid moves away obligingly as he tucks himself back in and zips his pants back up. Eventually he says, “But there was Karen.”

Reid grins. “And why didn’t that work out?” Hotch thinks back to the last time that he and Karen spoke and he flushes. Reid continues, “She more or less invited you to spend the night with her and you ended up at a seedy bar with your arm wrapped around me instead.”

“That was,” Hotch starts a denial, but doesn’t know how to finish it. “It didn’t,” he tries again, but this time he’s stopped by Reid pressing against him and nipping at the cuff of his ear.

“Try to deny it all you want,” Reid murmurs. “But we’re good together.”

Hotch turns his head and catches Reid’s mouth with his own. He can still taste himself on Reid’s tongue, finds himself wanting to memorize every movement Reid makes against him.

Eventually Reid pulls away with a small smile. “Stop looking so confused,” he says.

Hotch makes a helpless noise. “But I am confused.”

“God, you’re stubborn,” Reid mutters, but he sounds strangely affectionate even through the exasperation. “Hotch,” he says slowly, as though he’s talking to either a child or someone who is very, very stupid, “would you like to have dinner with me this evening?”

“Like a date?”

Reid smirks. “Like a date.” Hotch blinks dazedly for a minute before he nods silently. “Okay, good. I need to go change my pants now, because they are incredibly sticky and uncomfortable,” Reid says, “so I’m going to leave you here to freak out as you slowly realize that I just gave you a blowjob in your office and you liked it because you like me and we’ve been dating forever and you didn’t know it.” Hotch makes a confused noise and Reid smiles and kisses him quickly before moving toward the door. “I’ve already given you the bullet points, so you’ve got a good start,” Reid grins. “Try not to hurt yourself.” And then he’s gone and the door is shutting behind him.

Hotch settles back against the desk and stares after him. For some reason the part that he keeps getting stuck on is the fact that Reid gave him a blowjob in his office, and instead of being freaked out or confused by it he just finds it hot. Eventually the fact that he has a date with Reid filters in, as well, and by the time he starts processing the rest of it lunch is over and he has a meeting to get to.


He stops by Rossi’s office, later, and invites himself in, slides into one of the chairs in front of the desk and runs a hand through his hair. Rossi is watching him bemusedly, leaning back in his own chair and smirking.

“Did you know I was dating Reid?” Hotch asks.

Rossi’s smirk grows and he nods. “I did,” he says.

Hotch sighs and presses his thumb and forefinger to the bridge of his nose. “I didn’t know I was dating Reid,” he says, defeatedly.

Rossi laughs and Hotch moves his hand away from his face to glare at him. “We realized you didn’t know when decided you were going to ask Karen to dinner.”

Hotch groans and closes his eyes. “No one said anything.”

“Would you have believed us?”

There’s a long pause before Hotch mutters, “No.” He’s silent for a minute, thinking back, before he asks, “Reid was okay with that?”

Rossi smiles a genuine smile and nods. “Reid is a remarkably selfless young man.”

Hotch breathes out sharply. “But what if Karen and I had gotten serious?”

Rossi’s smile turns to a grin and he chuckles. “Well, Reid is also an incredibly cocky young man. He had to convince us that everything was going to be fine.”

“So you all knew?” Hotch asks, vaguely mortified.

“We did,” Rossi nods, “but it didn’t really matter, because he was right.”

“He always is,” Hotch mutters petulantly, staring at the corner.

Rossi laughs and Hotch glances up at him again. “Annoying, isn’t it?”

Hotch huffs out a laugh and nods. They fall into a sober silence while he tries to think of what it is he wants to say. “Jesus, Dave. I’m not gay… I mean, I’ve never wanted… I don’t…” he stutters out eventually, and then he trails off.

“But you do with Reid?” Rossi supplies gently. Hotch swallows hard and nods silently. “Then you’ll be fine.”

“Yeah,” Hotch says after a moment, voice scratchy.

“Just try not to pick up any more soccer moms,” Rossi says teasingly.

“You’re a riot,” Hotch says, rolling his eyes and pushing himself up out of the seat.

“Hotch,” Rossi says just before Hotch opens the door, “be good to the kid.” Hotch catches Rossi’s eye and nods silently before slipping out of the office.


Hotch and Reid’s ‘first’ date goes exactly like all the other dinners that Hotch didn’t know were dates, except that Hotch is nervous the whole time and drinks a lot of wine, and when they leave the restaurant Reid pushes Hotch against the side of the car and kisses him.

“I’m sorry I didn’t know we were dating,” Hotch whispers when Reid pulls away.

“It’s okay,” Reid smiles, “just consider it a really long courtship before we got to the sex part.” Hotch’s breath hitches and Reid grins and presses in again, twining one hand in Hotch’s hair and licking his way into Hotch’s mouth. They stand in the parking lot, Reid’s tongue teasing against his, and Hotch finds himself moaning and pulling Reid’s slim hips tightly against him. When he lets his hand drift down Reid’s side and starts sliding it forward and down toward the tight heat of Reid’s erection, the other man pulls away suddenly, flushed and panting.

“We need to go,” Reid says, but Hotch just leans forward and runs his tongue along the pale expanse of Reid’s neck. “No, Hotch, we really need to go.” Reid is almost whimpering, but Hotch just nods absently and sucks the skin just below Reid’s ear softly. Reid moans and pushes away quickly, glancing around the empty parking lot before he opens the door to the backseat and shoves Hotch inside.

Hotch is disoriented for a moment, staring up at the ceiling of his own car, but then he hears the thump of the door closing and a quiet ‘ow’ from Reid, and before he can sit up enough to see if everything is okay Reid is pushing him flat against the seat and climbing onto his lap. Hotch groans and presses forward, dips his head so he’s leaving a trail of kisses along Reid’s jaw, and the way Reid groans against him makes him shudder.

Reid shimmies back and sits up slightly, untucking Hotch’s shirt and sliding his fingers down to unbuckle Hotch’s belt. Hotch watches the way Reid bites his lip in concentration as he pulls open the belt and flicks open the button on Hotch’s pants, and when Reid looks up at him again Hotch presses forward and grabs the front of Reid’s belt. He tries to sit up and catch Reid’s lips with his own, but his leg moves forward with the momentum and he kicks the door panel as their lips connect and he stifles a grunt at the impact.

Reid laughs against him but Hotch just continues fumbling until his belt is undone, until his pants are unbuttoned and unzipped and Hotch is nipping the skin just inside of his collar. Reid moans and pushes Hotch back down, shifting his weight lower so that he can begin to tug Hotch’s pants and boxers down. When Hotch lifts his hips accordingly he feels the catch of the seatbelt digging into his back painfully and he jerks back up, knocks Reid off balance and he watches as the younger man falls back against the window with a thud.

“God, Reid, I’m so sorry,” Hotch says, and Reid stares at him for a moment before he bursts out laughing. Hotch is silent for a moment before he defensively asks, “What?”

“Hotch, we’re two grown men trying to have sex in the backseat of a car,” Reid laughs.

Hotch smiles as he watches the movement of Reid's throat as he laughs, and after a minute he brings one hand up to cup the back of Reid’s neck and pulls him into a kiss with a murmured, “C’mere, you.” He lowers them back down gently, until Reid is laying more or less on top of him, and he slides his hand down Reid’s side and dips his fingers beneath the waist of Reid’s boxers.

He shifts his hip up hard enough to make Reid pull away a bit and then slides his hand over to wrap his hand around Reid’s cock. The way Reid thrusts into his grasp makes him smile into the kiss, and he bites Reid’s lower lip as they both moan. Reid starts thrusting against him, kisses turning messy and unfocused, and Hotch lets Reid move into his hand, stroking his thumb along the head and tightening his grip along the base.

When Reid turns his head slightly and moans Hotch pushes him up slightly and pulls his hand away, licking wetly across his palm twice before moving it back down to circle Reid’s erection. He tilts his head up to kiss Reid again, but it only takes a few quick movements of his hand for Reid to turn his head and press it against Hotch’s neck. He isn’t quite sure what exactly it is he’s saying, but Hotch knows that he’s murmuring a litany something like ‘Reid, so beautiful, perfect, Spencer,’ and he can feel Reid’s lips moving against his skin as well.

He feels the way Reid’s back arches, hears the moan before he feels Reid coming, the wetness spreading along his hand. He waits until Reid sags against him before nips at the other man’s ear and pulls his hand away, lifting up his own button down and wiping his hand on his undershirt. Reid makes a contented noise and burrows his face against Hotch’s neck for a moment, breathing deeply.

Hotch smiles and turns to press a kiss to Reid’s temple, amazed at how completely normal it felt, because it was exactly like every other dinner they’ve had except for the fumbling, backseat hand-job at the end. He’s still grinning when Reid looks up at him.

“Hey,” Reid says, smiling softly. He shifts slightly and Hotch feels his erection pressed against Reid’s hip. Reid’s smile widens and he starts to slide back toward Hotch’s knees, but Hotch wraps his hands around Reid’s waist and pulls him forward.

“I’m fine,” Hotch grins. “This guy came into my office today and gave me a blowjob. Totally out of the blue.”

Reid laughs and swats the back of his hand against Hotch's shoulder. “It wasn’t out of the blue, asshole.”

Hotch smiles and reaches out to grab Reid’s hand, twining their fingers together. “So I’ve learned.” They watch each other silently for a moment before Hotch’s smile turns sheepish. “I’m sorry I didn’t realize,” he says. Reid smiles indulgently and kisses along the side of his jaw before pressing their lips together, and they stay there, sharing lazy kisses for a few minutes before Reid reminds him that he needs to pick Jack up from Jessie’s.


When Jessie opens her door she takes one look at Hotch and smirks. “Hi, Aaron,” she says, seemingly amicably but in that tone that Hotch has come to recognize as cleverly masked inquisition.

“Hey Jess,” Aaron smiles, running a hand through his hair. Jessie’s eyes track the movement as though she’s filing it away in her mind as ammunition and he immediately wishes he had just stood there, perfectly still. When she continues to stand there and stare at him consideringly he continues, “Thanks for watching Jack. I’ll just grab him and…”

He starts to make his way into her house but is stopped by her hand on his chest, blocking his entrance. “So,” she says conversationally, “who’s in the car?”

Hotch freezes and glances over his shoulder reflexively, suddenly thankful for tinted windows. “What do you mean?”

Jessie looks him over theatrically and then raises her eyebrows and glances to the car. “You ask me if you can pick Jack up late and then you show up disheveled, with a hickey. Plus, I think you might be drunk, so I know you aren’t driving yourself around.”

Hotch blushes and bites his lip, but doesn’t look away. “Reid,” he says.

Jessie’s eyebrows raise slightly and she asks, “Spencer Reid?”

Hotch blushes even more fiercely and he nods silently. Jessie stares at him seriously for a moment before she smiles widely. “Took you long enough,” she grins, and before he knows it she’s happily saying goodnight and Jack is jumping into the backseat of the car.

When Hotch slides into the passenger seat he looks over at Reid with a plaintive stare. “Did everyone know about this?”

Reid grins and reaches over to twine his fingers with Hotch’s. “Pretty much,” he says.


Hotch invites Reid to stay the night and they watch ‘Monsters, Inc.’ until Jack falls asleep. Reid spends the whole time idly tracing patterns along Hotch’s collarbone and by the time Reid undresses him and pushes him to the bed he’s on edge. He rolls himself on top of Reid and kisses him gracelessly, and they slide against one another until Hotch comes. Hotch smiles against Reid’s mouth and then moves down the bed, licking a path along Reid’s side before tracing his way over to lap at the head of Reid’s cock.

He’s hesitant and it’s mostly shallow laps around the base and crown of Reid’s dick, but when Reid whimpers and says, “Please, Aaron,” he lets go and pulls Reid into his mouth, wraps his hand around Reid and tries to remember everything that he likes so he can recreate it. It only takes a minute before Reid s clutching his shoulder and making some noise in warning, but Hotch doesn’t pull away, keeps his lips wrapped around Reid as he swallows, and it’s warm and weird and the taste is new.

When he finally lets go and moves back up along Reid’s body he smiles at the way Reid is panting, and kisses the skin behind Reid’s ear as he presses close, nudging the younger man over until he’s spooned up behind him. "Aaron," Reid pants heavily, "fuck." Hotch smiles and wraps an arm around Reid’s waist and nuzzles the back of his neck as they fall asleep.


The next morning Jack is wound up and asks Reid a ton of questions about dinosaurs, and Reid tries to answer as best he can while cooking scrambled eggs and bacon, and at one point he starts on a tangent about the Cretaceous period that results in the eggs being slightly overcooked, but Hotch steps in and the rest of breakfast is saved.

When they get to the office Reid veers off to grab a change of clothes from his go bag. Hotch smiles all the way to his office, but when he opens the door he sees Morgan standing in the middle of the room with his arms crossed, and he’s startled.

They stand there for a minute before Morgan glares at him and says, “Don’t hurt him.” Hotch blinks and nods at him, and they stare at each other for another minute before Morgan almost-smiles and leaves.

When Reid pops his head in a few minutes later, Hotch gives him a stricken look. Reid walks in and around the desk to slide his hands behind Hotch’s neck. “It’s been a long process,” he murmurs, “don’t worry about them.”

Hotch smiles and tilts his head to kiss Reid, hand sliding across Reid's lower back as something that was supposed to be quick turns longer. He’s distracted by the feel of Reid’s fingers in his hair when he hears JJ’s fake cough from the doorway.

“Hey, guys!” She says brightly when they pull away. “We might have a case in Alabama, so… conference room in five?”

Hotch blushes bright red and nods, but he doesn’t have to look over to see Reid’s grin. JJ backs out of the room and closes the door, and Reid presses a kiss to Hotch’s jaw. “We both have things to do, but… you’re not going to flip out or anything, are you?”

Hotch feels like probably should be freaking out, but he isn’t, so he just shakes his head. “I’m okay," he says, and when Reid smiles at him he changes it to, “I’m good. This is… good.”

Reid kisses him briefly before backing away with a grin. “This is great,” Reid corrects.

“Get back to work, Reid,” he says with a smile. “I’d hate to have to fire you.” The blinding smile Reid sends him in return makes him laugh. Hotch is still a little confused, but he decides that dating Reid is probably the best thing he’s done in a long time, even if he has been a little slow on the uptake.

/end ridiculous crack!fic. god only knows where this came from.


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This was great. I loved it. You did great with the characterizations. And clueless!Hotch? Awesome!

Thank you! I'm glad the characterizations weren't ridiculous :)

This is so adorable while also hot.

I LOVED Spencer's comment about the onions. I giggled out loud! :D

Great job.
Thank you!
oh darlin', I absolutely loved this! made me smile like a loon and cackle like a madwoman. thank you so much!
I'm glad you liked it! Thanks for reading :)
Aww, this was great! Incredible, really!

I loved Reid like this, you had his character spot on (I love him better when he is portrayed as a bit smug and not vulnerable and with total lack of self-esteem to speak of - so I really loved your Reid). And clueless!Hotch, well LOL :D. Also the office blow job was epic. Really.

I loved this so much! Thank you for sharing it with us!

(Also sorry for the mindless babble, I kinda talk a lot :D.)
I totally agree about Reid- I don't think I'm even capable of writing a non-confident Reid. You know that boy is smug as hell ;)

And I don't mind the mindless babble- it makes me smile!
*squee* Seriously... *SQUEE*

I. Loved. This.

A LOT!!!!!!

Fear my wrath, lowly root vegetable

That sounds so Reid-like (or Garcia-like, possibly). It's perfect!

Once he gets inside his office Hotch sits down and proceeds to quietly freak the fuck out.

Yes! OMG, this was so awesome. I loved, loved, LOVED Clueless!Hotch and the fact that EVERYONE else knew but him. I loved that Reid was confident enough to tell the team to just wait. I loved Rossi, and Morgan, and Jessie, and Jack, and dinosaurs (I have a thing about Jack and dinosaurs, don't you know?) I loved how their "first" date was just like every other one of their dates... except it included hot backseat sex. And then hot at home sex.

This made me so ridiculously happy. Thank you. I can't tell you how much I needed this today.

Awesome, awesome, awesome.

Um... I may be gushing now...
I'm glad you liked it! I seriously, seriously wasn't sure I was even going to post this.

And I sincerely feel like Reid might threaten inanimate objects in certain situations (though I agree that Garcia might as well).

Also, I have a Jack&Dinosaur thing, as well... I don't know why.

But yes, thank you!!!
This was wonderful! I don't actually know which part was better the courting that wasn't courting until it was (which was brilliant and very, very sweet), the tantalizing sex (very hot), or the courting after the sex mixed with the teammates threatening nowaware!Hotch. It was great!
Morgan would have kicked Hotch's ass if Hotch had acted like an asshole. For sure.

And thanks :)
You have no idea how wide the smile on my face is right now. I'm so glad I decided to check LJ just one more time before going to bed.

I adored every clueless, knowing moment. :)

Do you mind if I friend you?

Edited at 2010-06-10 05:44 am (UTC)
Of course I don't mind! Although I don't really say anything interesting. Mostly I just make Hotch and Reid make out.

But I'm so glad you liked it!
I'm glad it was amusing! Thanks for reading!
AWW!! I loved this so much! Who knew clueless!Hotch could be so adorable? Great job!
i know, the whole thing stemmed from the idea of reid kissing him and hotch being like, wait, what?

and thank you :)
Loved how silly but totally plausible this is. Your muses amazed me. I grinned all the way through because I knew I was reading something precious. One of my all-time favorite H/R stories for sure. Thanks for sharing, bb.
I honestly didn't even like myself as I was writing it, because the whole thing is ridiculous. But I'm so glad it turned out okay. And thank you <3
Newbie in this fandom *waves*... I just loved this fic. Sooooooo good.

I really hope there is more good CM-fic out *sigh*. But where? ;)

Thanks for sharing...
welcome to cm! might i pimp hotch/reid a bit? because this 'ship needs more love!

i'd definitely troll bowie28's bookmarks on del.icio.us here, for all your hotch/reid needs.

and thanks :)
*Joins the chorus of praise* Great story, it was a bit strange seeing Reid as the one in control/aware of everything, but it was really cool all the same. ^_^
i'm all about aggressive!Reid!! and i'm glad you liked it :)
Hahahaha!!! I can't believe how hilariously AWESOME this is!!!! God, oblivious!Hotch is just bloody adorable, as is cocky!Reid. Mmmmmm!!!! I loved everything. From the sexually frustrated soccer mom to the backseat of the car sex. LOVED. IT. SO. MUCH. :D
woot for oblivious!Hotch !!

thanks for reading <3
wow so cute!
clueless!Hotch is a new kink for me.
and the onion comment = WIN
loved it
thank you!
What do you mean, crack!fic?? This was great!

I have such a kink for clueless!Hotch who is in love with Reid, you have no idea how much this story just hit the spot. I loved it tons and tons and tons, thank you so much. :D
it felt like crack!fic while i was writing it! i'm glad i filled your clueless!Hotch needs...
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